What I do, what I want to do...

My breakfast today...

usually I am not a big meat eater.

I like chicken, sausage, bacon & other meats depending on how they are prepared or what they are in.

however {b.a.c.o.n} is where it's at...

& the turkey bacon was pretty good today...

Tuesday dinner...

the frozen yogurt bites was an idea found on pinterest,

I like the idea.

I don't know how balenced this meal is but it was pretty good.

It's hard to pack balenced meals in a short amount of time. I seriously made the mac 'n cheese in 35 min.

20 min of that it was in the oven. I tried to do mac 'n cheese "cupcakes" like I had done before, but it didn't work so well.

As usually, today I was rushed when it came time to get ready & go to work.

I went to the gym this morning,

came home,

took a shower,

got dressed,

blow dried & fixed my hair,

made breakfast,

ate & read my Bible,

did some editing

& then all a sudden it was 2:10 & I had to make my dinner

& finish getting ready to go all in 35 min.

Lately (for the last year or more) I have had such a hard time being on time for certain things.

Or getting things done in a timely manner.

I think my problem is this:

I look at my schedule thinking I have a lot of time on my hands,

so I begin to fill it,

then it seems all of a sudden I am stressing out,

& running late,

& can't focus.

Seems if I know that is my problem I could do something about it.

This morning I was reading in Romans 7,

Paul is talking about evil & good, here is what it says starting at verse 15..

¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.

¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

²¹ So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²² For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³ but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. ²⁴ What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? ²⁵ Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

I find myself thinking on these verses so often, thinking about what I want to do I don't,

what I don't want to do I do.

I want to be productive 

I want to have personal devotions & prayer time everyday.

I want to have things looking neat & cute all most of the time.

I want to spend my money wisely.

I don't want to waste time.

I don't want to be left out.

I don't want to be lazy.

I don't want to be stressed all the time.

I'm sure there are more "I want to's" & "I don't want to's"

but when it comes down to it,

my priorities are off,

& I amprobably putting too much pressure on myself to fit into

an impossible mold that I have formed myself.

But..

²⁵ Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law,

but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

Jesus, deliver me from myself.

From my expectations & ideals for myself.

Deliver me from my sinful heart,

& humble me.

Deliver me from my sinful mind & sinful nature,

may I die to myself,

live for you &

live as Your humble servant.

Trusting in You,

Your plan for me,

Your expectations of me!