Valentines thoughts.

Valentines Day... usually I cry at least once. feel sorry for myself. become mad or angry. day dream myself silly. I have to say, today has been one of the best Valentines Days ever! Before you get all excited...
{CHILL}
Today was a normal, but it was good in the fact that...
I. WAS. NOT. SO. STINKING. EMOTIONAL. 
like I had been ALL last week & ALL weekend.
GLORY!
Honestly it was nice, I got up went to the gym, came home took a shower, got dressed, puttered around read my Bible (not as much as I intended) watched a movie while editing, did a tad of baking, then went to work. Even work has been pretty good.
I am so thankful for today, being a normal day... I came to the realization that today, today I am content in life. I don't know about tomorrow, but today I have reason to smile. Because God loves me and He is faithful.

I was reading a post by another blogger lovely little besos, she was writing about Valentines and this is some of what she said:"Unfortunately, I don't get showered with love from my family either. I come from the type of family where we don't ever say "I love you". Its more of something that is assumed than heard, and the belief is actions are supposed to show someone's love for you. Which is true. I also don't really get treated like a "princess" in my family. Which means I don't get flowers or cards sent to me on this holiday.  I am not trying to have a pity party here. I am just trying to shed some light on why some people consider valentines day a regular day, and why others tend to get bitter. I am not going to lie, I am envious of the many girls that get taken out to dinner by their significant others or flowers sent to them by their families on this day. But I also hope for a future of that type of love in my life."

That is so my same situation. Growing up and still I don't hear "I love you" unless I am in the middle of a heated discusion or we just had a disagreement. Though every year  my mom gets me something on Valentines but it always seems genaric. On Saturday my parents gave me a rose they picked up at the store, I do appreciate that. The thought was nice but it doesn't really mean a whole lot to me. {I don't mean to be ungrateful} when I see it I am just reminded that they picked it up while grocery shopping, so convienant...seems so inpersonal.
I don't like unknowns, or really spur-of-the-moment, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type stuff but I pray that the man I marry someday is romantic, a bit mysterious & spontaneous, smart, frugal but not a tightwad, loveing, kind, compassionate, unselfish but most of all that He loves Jesus above all and strives to please Him in ALL things. (*Gives me a lot to strive for as well, to be all those things and more for him)

Someday I am sure I will have a SUPER extra special Valentines Day but...
I am glad for today, that is was simple.
normal,
& I am content.

BTW something I found really ironic and oddly funny. I was at the gym this morning and one TV was on TLC two "Baby Stories" were on in the time that I was there. The first was about a gay couple who had one child already and was using a surrogate to have another. Their surrogate was one of the guys sister, she was also the surrogate for their first baby. (*I don't know what your views on this are but I found it disgusting & morally wrong. The Bible states marriage unions are one man & one women not two men or two women) {I got all that by just looking at the screen occasionally}
The second story that came on was about a man and women who were heavily involved in their CHRISTIAN church. They prayed on screen with their church and youth group more then once. They were in charge of the youth group and they talked openly of the Lord, their faith and Christianity.
I thought it was oddly ironic how opposite the two episodes were.

Weekend..

day #13

I have discovered "Pinterest"....

love.love.love!

I do believe this will end in countless hours of inspiration or....

countless hours of wasted time just looking @ photos.

This weekend has been pretty good, last night I accomplished 2 things from my "Things to do before Christmas" {Hoooray}

N. National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, watch it.

(*DONE*)

W. Watch "A Christmas Story"

(*DONE)

It was nice to watch some movies, eat pizza & mocha cheesecake & be creative.

Since my discovery of Pinterest my creative juices are going into overdrive & I am dying to do lots & lots of creative, crafty things.

Last night I made 6 necklaces {which is pretty good}

{my process}

I am frustrated, I love the look of Bokeh

but I can not figure out how to do it...I have found tutorials but my camera does not seem to do what the

tutorials say it should. Maybe my camera is just "special" or maybe I am just "special". I have had that camera for almost 5 years & I still learn new things about it.

Anyway, I will keep trying.

(*Photos found on Pinterest*)

I am dying to know how to do this {on my camera} in such a lovely way,

so if you know how to do this on an {OLYMPUS e-500} please explain to me...

I need step.by.step directions & pictures...pretty please!

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So, I might have just figured it out...pics up tomorrow {hopefully}

& we shall see.

Vent

day #8

I work at a homeless shelter for women & children. It is a Christian organization with emloyees who are all believers. We work together to share the gospel, the love of Christ & help these women by meeting their needs. However we have rules, guidelines & we are strict. If they do not follow the rules & guidelines they get a reminder or reprimand depending on the severity of the infraction. When 3 reprimands are received the guest is given a leave notice & can not return for 60 days. Those among other rules are expected to be followed. When each guest comes they read our guidelines & agree to follow the rules we had laid out. Yet everyday guests come to us & complain about something they don't want to do or some issue they have with the rules. Even though they have all read & agreed to follow them.
My compassion for people in need is growing yet I am so frustrated when I constently hear complaints about what is going on at this facility. The majority of the guests seem to think the staff is out to get the & that we want them to be miserable & that we are double standard. Honestly if you don't want to follow the rules, then leave we are not keeping you here. But leaving will have consequences (like not being able to come back for 60 days). The guests seem to think that this is their home, in a way I suppose it is a home of sorts. It is not their home though, if they get to comfortable than why make an effort to get out? Why try to find housing or a job when you can stay here for free as long as you follow a few rules?

This is just me venting. My co-workers & I all love the Lord & we are committed to serving Him. Our goal is to show these ladies the love of Christ, but it is hard when ones level of compassion doesn't go as high as it should. I like working on the family floor much better because I love kids & there isn't as much drama or attitude. My level of compassion is greater for the families, I don't know why...it just is.

Sitting here this afternoon & hearing all the complaining & snarky comments just make me sad. I thought about going to talk to them but I didn't have the right words or heart attitude to start something. What I guess I need to do is pray over the time at work before I start. Commit the time to the Lord & ask that I would be gracious, merciful & compassionate to those I am serving.

God, be merciful to me. My attitude has not been very Christlike this afternoon. Broaden my scope give me a greater compassion & servant attitude. May I serve You with a humble heart. Come & fill this place with Your spirit. Make Yourslef known to these women, that they might see You & know You. That they see & believe Your truth & go Your way.