What now?

Today has been one of those days...
not an awful day, but I've felt...
frazzled
fearful
worried
stressed
confused.

This morning I woke up & got up early (early being 7:20am)
The sky was pink, orange & blue,
I grabbed my camera & headed outside,
but of course there is no good place in my yard to take a picture of that part of the sky.
Going back inside I felt failure...isn't that silly?
How is it my fault there are trees all over.
I guess I was feeling LAME today.

Then little, unexpected things happened.

Tonight I recieved some information that frustrated me & caused anxiousness.

I'm looking at the possibility of going to a missions school (YWAM) discipleship program for Creative Arts,

it is in Australia and starts in July (2013). I had gotten info about it and have been thinking that I would need around $7,000 tonight the email I recieved said that the figure I was given before was only for the first segment of it and the outreach segment would be another $2,500-$5,000 more.

[ jaw dropped ]

here I was still worried over the possibility of raising $7,000

& not sure about it when the total just about doubles!
This worries me because right now my sister is findraising so she can go to a
YWAM school in Rwanda,
so she is pulling from our local resources,
& my parents are in ministry so they raise support too.
My limited mind can't comprehend where another $12,000 more will come from.

I felt a little unsure before, going back & forth, battling with fears
& now...I feel like I have to do something,

I know that if God wants me to do this $12,000 is nothing for Him.

Pray with me on this,

I am need of some encouragement,

prayer,

Holy Spirit power,

resources,

connections!

God I really want to trust You completely.
Give me peace,
guide me to do the right thing.
I know You are a BIG God who does BIG things.
God I am asking for BIG things,
open the doors You want me walking through
& close the ones you don't want me going through.
Give me peace
& favor!
May I live & walk in Your love & grace!

Fridays Letters

dear fears I really want to kick you to the curb, I'm a punk when you're around.

dear australia I'm thinking & praying about coming, get ready! dear laptop I am very thankful for you, because of your existence in my life my job is so much easier to do. dear apples I am sad that the price that is required in order to purchase you has gone so high, so I suppose it shall be pumpkin everything for fall! dear boots your inagural wear on saturday was great, I was looking good! However the combination of extensive heel wearing, running on the tredmill (I don't usually do the tredmill) and wearing new shoes (for 6+ hours) made me so sore! dear treadmill I am not a runner, but I am rather proud of the fact that I ran longer then 5 consecutive minutes today, more like 10 so you know...

dear kb/lecrae/trip lee/andy mineo I'm brushing up on my gangtsa, you have no idea how geeked I am about the concert in a week. I COULD WEEP! dear job I've had enough of you this week, it's been real. I'm grateful for my two days off and the lesser work week next week. dear kid at work you are sweet, I love how you want to go and read Revelation before bed, and that you know the books of the Bible and that your favorite is Jeremiah! dear Bible good stuff...

Nehemiah 9:28

²⁸ “But as soon as they were at rest, they again did what was evil in your sight. Then you abandoned them to the hand of their enemies so that they ruled over them. And when they cried out to you again, you heard from heaven, and in your compassion you delivered them time after time.

Hebrews 9:28

New International Version (NIV)

²⁸ so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.