Monday, October 1, 2012

What now?

Today has been one of those days...
not an awful day, but I've felt...

This morning I woke up & got up early (early being 7:20am)
The sky was pink, orange & blue,
I grabbed my camera & headed outside,
but of course there is no good place in my yard to take a picture of that part of the sky.
Going back inside I felt failure...isn't that silly?
How is it my fault there are trees all over.
I guess I was feeling LAME today.

Then little, unexpected things happened.

Tonight I recieved some information that frustrated me & caused anxiousness.
I'm looking at the possibility of going to a missions school (YWAM) discipleship program for Creative Arts,
it is in Australia and starts in July (2013). I had gotten info about it and have been thinking that I would need around $7,000 tonight the email I recieved said that the figure I was given before was only for the first segment of it and the outreach segment would be another $2,500-$5,000 more.

[ jaw dropped ]

here I was still worried over the possibility of raising $7,000
& not sure about it when the total just about doubles!
This worries me because right now my sister is findraising so she can go to a
YWAM school in Rwanda,
so she is pulling from our local resources,
& my parents are in ministry so they raise support too.
My limited mind can't comprehend where another $12,000 more will come from.
I felt a little unsure before, going back & forth, battling with fears
& now...I feel like I have to do something,
I know that if God wants me to do this $12,000 is nothing for Him.

Pray with me on this,
I am need of some encouragement,
Holy Spirit power,

God I really want to trust You completely.
Give me peace,
guide me to do the right thing.
I know You are a BIG God who does BIG things.
God I am asking for BIG things,
open the doors You want me walking through
& close the ones you don't want me going through.
Give me peace
& favor!
May I live & walk in Your love & grace!

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